I rode the trolley downtown today. Sometimes I wish that I had some sort of camera attached to my eyes permanently so that I could take pictures of things that I see without being noticed. Riding the trolley gives a person lots of opportunity to people watch. Today was no exception. In my observations, I have compiled a list of ways to fit in better on the trolley and to look like a seasoned rider, instead of a tourist.
1. If you are a man and have lost the hair on the top of your head, definitely grow out the rest and put it in a ponytail. But don’t forget to put a ribbon around the ponytail before leaving home.
2. It’s always a good idea to carry strange objects onto the train, such as a large handful of wire hangers, a small dog in your jacket, or a bag of bottles or cans.
3. If you must sit down, make sure that there’s nobody sitting next to you or across from you facing you, so that you have your clean air and bench. And don’t forget to wipe the seat off before sitting down.
4. Switch seats at every stop. Again, don’t forget to wipe the seat off.
5. Whistling and conducting music in your head is okay to do.
6. It’s okay to wear all black (beanie, dark glasses, sweatshirt, pants, boots) as long as you have your American flag cape.
7. Since you can’t smoke on the train, put your cigarette out right before stepping inside, but keep it in your mouth, ready to go so as soon as you step off the train at your stop, you don’t miss a breath.
There you have it. Don’t forget to HAVE FUN!