Kiersten’s Blog

Music has always been a constant in my life.  I started learning the violin at the age of four.  My mom took me to a lot of concerts and I played in festivals and orchestras.  As I grew older, my tastes changed.  I listened to many different genres.  I really do enjoy listening to all types of music.  I remember in college having to have music on all the time.  If I was at home, I always had some type of music on.  Since I was a music major, I spent the majority of my classes listening to or playing music.  I spent the rest of my time practicing music.

Life is different now.  I enjoy silence.  I like just listening to the sounds around me.  Maybe it’s the mommy ears that I have that make me want my home quiet more often.  Sometimes things get so chaotic, that all I want is silence.  Other times, I want the quietness so that I can hear when the baby wakes up, or when dinner’s ready, or when my pre-schooler calls out, needing another glass of water.  I feel as though I can’t concentrate when I have background music on.  Often, if one were to take a picture of the goings on in my home, they would see me doing the things I do, and my husband doing the things he does, except he would be wearing headphones.  As I was driving today, with music blasting in the car, I suddenly thought, “The music’s too loud, I can’t hear the music.”  What a funny thought!  I think I was just missing the sounds of silence.

Taylor and I have been lucky enough to spend the last two nights listening to lovely music.  Tonight we saw the San Diego Bach Collegium.  A friend of his from graduate school conducts the group.  They were fantastic!  I was actually surprised at how good they were.  I was expecting a good concert, but not as good as I heard.  They performed all six motets written by Bach.  It was very enjoyable.  I will admit, though, I was really tired and kind of fell asleep.  But not enough to make me not hear or get startled when applause happened.  I still thought it was exceptional.  We get to see them again next month.  I’ll try to be more rested before the concert next time so maybe my eyes will stay open.

Last night we visited Copley Symphony Hall in downtown San Diego to hear Joshua Bell.  I was really excited for this concert.  Taylor got me tickets for Christmas.  I loved listening to him and watching him (through my binoculars) and his incredible technique.  He was so relaxed.  I was especially impressed with the tightness of the ensemble (violin and piano).  They performed Bach, Saint-Saëns, Schumann, and Ravel Sonatas.  It was really amazing how together they were, especially with the super fast octave runs in the piano, doubled by the violin in the Saint-Saëns.  I have no idea how they did it, but I was blown away.  The concert was great, but I was somehow let down.  Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Bell played flawlessly, but somehow I expected something more.  Maybe it was due to our seats, but some of the really intricate parts were kind of lost behind the piano.  I felt like I didn’t quite hear everything I wanted to.  Maybe I just had a bad seat.  Maybe the acoustics in the hall could be better.  (It’s kind of a funny building.  You would never know it was a symphony hall from the outside of the building.  It just looks like a high rise building.)  Or maybe I was just so spoiled by Yo-Yo Ma last year, that nothing will ever live up to that experience.  No matter what it was, I still had a good time and definitely enjoyed the concert.

I’ve seen a number of posts lately of confessions.  Most are confessions of “famous” bloggers who want to show that they’re normal too.  They talk about how they don’t usually show the slightly negative things in life.  They just talk about the good things they’re doing.  They post daily about crafts they do with their kids or other similar stories.  In reality, this just makes them look really good and it makes a lot of moms feel as though they’re inferior in some way because they’ll never be as crafty or as innovative or as organized as so-and-so.

That brings me to my confessions.  Oh wait, I don’t have any.  I know that any of you who read my blog don’t feel at all inferior after reading.  In fact, I probably make you feel really good about yourself!  But let me make you feel even better.  It’s kind of embarrassing, but I vacuumed my carpet for the first time on Saturday.  If you recall, we got our carpet on the 23rd of December.  Saturday was our carpet’s one month-iversary.  Good thing I vacuumed that day.  I have so many excuses that I won’t go into, but it just didn’t get done.  After cleaning up on Saturday, I looked around and sighed.  It was the first time that I’ve actually looked at the place and felt no anxiety.  Things are turning out so well.  I promise I’ll have more “after” shots soon.  I’m almost done.

Who says it never rains in southern California?  That’s what I always think.  That’s why I only own one umbrella.  (To be fair, we did have two but one broke.)  That’s why when London wanted a princess umbrella, gum boots and a rain coat, I talked her out of it.  Now I wish I had been a nicer mom.  Today it rained.  But it wasn’t raining when we left this morning.  I was feeling optimistic.  It was Taylor’s first day back to work since we moved and since I had to do some much needed grocery shopping, I decided to drop him off, visit some friends, go to story time at our old library, and go grocery shopping.  All of these things happened, but we sure had an adventure.

The fun started after story time.  I didn’t take my umbrella into the library because it wasn’t raining when we got there.  At least I was smart enough to make London change her jacket before we left so she would be wearing one with a hood., just in case.  However, I let her wear her Crocs.  They dry fast, right?  I probably would have been better off with a pair of them than I was with my canvas shoes that soaked and then soaked my socks and then my feet.  At least London’s dried fast.  Anyway, back to the library.  It was raining when we left, so we ran as fast as we could to the car.  Poor Ashton.  He was the only one without a hood and he’s the baldest of us all.  But no complaints from him.  After the library we picked up some Taco Bell and went to Taylor’s office to share lunch.  The nice lady at the drive-through window gave London some cinnamon twists just for being cute (which, incidentally, happens ALL the time at that Taco Bell), but she forgot the chips for her nachos, which we didn’t notice until we got all unpacked at Taylor’s office.  Oh well.  London dipped her cinnamon twists in the nacho cheese and I promised to go back for the chips when we were done.

After lunch, we left Taylor at work and went to Target for some groceries.  I pulled into a great parking spot, all excited that we didn’t have to walk far in the rain, when London reminded me that we forgot her chips.  So back to Taco Bell we went.  By the time we got back, the good spot was gone.  So I parked closer to Albertson’s.  We’d be going there anyway.  I usually get what I can at Target, then go next door to Albertson’s for the rest of the stuff.  I promised London we could buy an umbrella there, but of course, they were sold out.  She was pacified by me telling her that we would find one at Albertson’s.  As the shopping continued, the power went out.  Twice.  This freaked out my afraid-of-the-dark daughter, but not for too long.  We got what we needed and braved the storm to the car.  Here I was, pushing a “playing cart” full of goods while holding a baby in a sling and trying to keep the umbrella over the three of us.

This wasn't taken today. It's just to show you what a "playing cart" is.

I bought a gate for the top of our stairs, which was on the bottom of the cart so when we went over the little yellow bumps, the gate fell off and I had to run through a puddle with Ashton to get it back on the cart while I left London to get wet in the rain.  We dropped our stuff off in the car and headed to Albertson’s.  We always have to get a car cart there.  It was Ashton’s first ride in an Albertson’s one and he loved it, for the first few minutes.  By the time we were leaving the store, I was trying to hold a crying baby, while the baggers (we had a lot of help because nobody else was dumb enough to go out today) tried to bribe London to get out of the car cart with stickers.  She didn’t want to because I wasn’t buying an umbrella.  At least I had help and one of the baggers offered to help me to the car.  It had stopped raining by then, but I stepped in a huge puddle and soaked both of my feet, as well as my jeans.

Once we got home, we ate dinner, and the kids had a grand time playing together on our new floor.  The only problem was the soot all over the floor.  When we moved in, the floo in our chimney was stuck open.  Apparently my dad and Taylor got it shut, but our fireplace cover doesn’t fit on our new fireplace, so when the wind blows, soot blows into our living room, even though the floo is now closed.  It wouldn’t be so bad if my kids weren’t playing all over the floor.  So into the tub they went for the second time today.  Now they’re both fast asleep.  Thank goodness for ice cream after a day like today.  I’m glad I don’t live in Seattle.  I don’t think I could handle this all the time.

Thinking that a wagon would be a great gift for my kids from Santa this year, I decided to brave the midnight madness at Toys R Us.  I checked on line before I left in case I could just buy it on line instead.  The good thing about living on the west coast is the sales start 3 hours earlier on line than in the stores.  Sure enough, I could order the wagon.  But it was $12 to ship.  In my stupidness, I decided that to save that $12 shipping fee, I would just make a quick stop at Toys R Us before retiring to bed.  Bad idea.  I stepped in line around 11:45.  I waited in it for a LONG time.  I was COLD!!!  Finally I made it into the store, only to find out that they sold out of the wagons.  I left the store, empty handed, at 1:45.  So much for my black Friday deals this year.  I can’t say I’ll do the Toys R Us sale ever again.  That was too crazy for me.  I couldn’t believe the people standing there in line.  I saw so many parents with their kids!  I DEFINITELY wouldn’t be standing in line, freezing, at 2:00 in the morning with my KIDS!  That’s child abuse!

Other than my Toys R Us disappointment, I had a great day today.  We left the kids with my in-laws last night and will meet them tomorrow to get them back.  It has been such a nice day.  I can’t remember the last time that Taylor and I spend that much time alone together.  It was fun to remember that we’re best friends.  We didn’t do anything spectacular.  We walked to Target.  We ate out.  We braved Wal-Mart.  And we hit up a flooring store.  Oh, and we packed.  Sure, my apartment is a disaster now, but it’s nice to see that things are finally getting put in boxes.  I cleaned out the linen closet and Taylor packed up the books.  I have had a successful day, thanks to my in-laws.  I’m excited to see my kids again.  Of course I miss them, but I know they’re in good hands and it was fabulous to have a day alone with Taylor.  Now if our house would just close…

London came into my bed no less than five times this morning, trying to get me up.  Each time the conversation went something like this:

London: Mommy, it’s time to get up!

Me: Okay, just a minute.

London: Mommy, get up!

Me: In a minute

London: Mommy, get out of bed!

Me: Leave me alone.  I’ll get up in a minute!

Finally, she didn’t know what else to do and she said to Taylor, “Daddy, kiss her.”  Do you think she watches too many princess movies?

Our huge fire

For Family Night tonight, we decided to have a bonfire at the beach and invite some friends.  For Taylor, it was an excuse to go surfing.

sand angels

For London, it was an excuse to get messy.  For Ashton, well, he just likes to hang out with anybody who will pay attention to him.

He looked so grown up and adorable in this little chair!

Bonfires at the beach are one of London’s favorite things.  We usually get there and hang out for a bit and when the sun starts to set, we start up the fire.  Then we roast hot dogs and marshmallows.  The kids play in the sand and we all have a great time.

Isabelle, Sam and London in the shark tent

Every time we go, we say how we need to do it again.  So we do.  And it’s fun again.  I’m excited to go back!

I love being a mother.  I’m so blessed to be able to stay home with my children and not have to work outside my home.  The last six months have been rather difficult for me, and as a result, our whole family.  I can gladly say that things are much better now.  There have been many days in the past when I wondered about my sanity when I decided to have another child (or any at all for that matter).  I’m sure I’ll have days like that in the future.  But today was good.  I honestly enjoyed staying at home with my children, playing with my baby, and playing games and doing puzzles with my pre-schooler.  I didn’t feel like I was trying to just make it through the day, or just play games because my daughter wanted me to.  I did it because I wanted to.  Life is good.

I put this shirt on and London thought it would be fun to dress alike. It was all her idea.

Showered (including washing hair), makeup and hair done
Two kids bathed and fed
Dropped husband off at work on the way to preschool
Made it to preschool on time
Volunteered at preschool, all the while holding a squirming baby
Two kids fed
Miraculously got a four-year-old to pick up all of her toys while I did the dishes
Got four-year-old to watch the baby while I vacuumed
Got a Halloween costume for the baby
Shopped at Costco
Picked up husband from work
Had hot dogs for dinner (not much of an accomplishment, but we got home later than expected)
Ice cream at Cold Stone
Two kids asleep by 9
In bed by 10:30

I’d say I did pretty well.

I thought I would be lucky enough to have my whole family napping at the same time, but Ashton’s still wiggling around in his tiny crib.  He fell asleep just a few minutes ago while he was eating, but now has decided that awake is a better way to be.  London, on the other hand, is out.  This is a minor miracle.  We made a deal that she stay in bed for a half hour and then I would come in and get her.  She’s been there for almost an hour now and is totally asleep.  This is a much needed nap for her (and me).  Maybe I’ll make it through the day after all.

My mom came this weekend.  She had Thursday and today off, so she took Friday off and drove down to help me out.  It was so nice to have her.  I was sad to see her go this morning.  She spent the weekend cleaning and cooking and cleaning some more and taking care of my kids.  I also got three really good nights of sleep in a row.  I haven’t really slept through the night in about six months.  Those three nights were much needed.  Taylor and I even got to go to the movies together for the third time ever.  Needless to say, it was a nice weekend.  Taylor’s alarm went off this morning around 5:15.  He went surfing and my mom packed up to go home.  I didn’t realize that his alarm had woken up London until she crawled into bed with me about 45 minutes later.  When I’m joined by London in bed, I know that I won’t be getting any more sleep.  So we snuggled together for a bit and got up.  She told me later that, “I just heard Tickety’s bells ringing and I said, ‘I have to get up and sleep with my mom now!’”  What a funny girl.  Of course she hadn’t had enough sleep so she was whiny all morning.  I’m so glad she’s napping.

We’re now almost in an established routine.  I’m really close to being done pumping.  It’s taking longer than I had hoped.  I think this will be good for all of us.  I went to the doctor last week and was prescribed medication for the postpartum depression.  I haven’t started taking them yet because I’m not quite done pumping but I’m sure excited to feel normal again.  I’m still here and I’m still making it.  One step at a time.