Ready or Not…
Posted on Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 8:30 pmI will hit my 9 months pregnant mark on Tuesday. Of course the last month is always the longest, just because it’s SO uncomfortable. I have a feeling, though, that it’s going to go by too fast. I’m just not ready for another baby yet! Here I sit with the little guy tucked under my ribs and my back hurting, not being able to bend over or tie my shoes, but I’m not feeling like I want him out of my body yet. Okay, I want him out. I’m done with being pregnant, but I’m definitely not ready for what happens once he leaves my uterus and makes his debut. I’m not ready for the sleepless nights. I’m not ready for the recovery. I’m not ready to be in labor. I’m not ready for a 3 year old little girl to be yelling at a baby because he’s crying and she can’t stand it when babies cry. On top of all this, I still don’t know what his name will be, nor do I have a place for him in our little apartment. The crib is still being housed at my in-laws. I have been collecting baby boy clothes here and there, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have the “stuff” I need. Honestly, I don’t even remember what that “stuff” is. I feel like I’ve never done this before! Or maybe sometimes I feel like it’s been too recent because when I think about actually giving birth, I really don’t want to deal with that again! I also worry and think of everything that could go wrong because last time, I thought everything would just be perfect (because, of course, I was doing everything right and by the book) and I wasn’t prepared for a child with a birth defect. I learned quickly how to deal with it, but what will surprise me this time? Will he be able to nurse? I don’t know how to do that. It will be a whole new experience. I’m sure everything will turn out just fine but for now, I just don’t feel ready. Maybe I never will.
I am nervous too, but I know you will do fine. I got you into this mess, so to speak, and I will help you through it.
I love you.
Once that sweet baby comes – it will be so natural. Your instincts will just kick in. You don’t have to worry – and you shouldn’t. As long as you have diapers, wipes and a few onezies – you’ll be good!(ok maybe a couple more little things but you get the idea)
Anything else you might need – just send Taylor to the store 
Look how great your little London is turning out! Thanks to you!!!! And she was extra special & tricky with her cleft. Sooo…no worries, dear. Just think: soft baby hair & skin, cuddling, newborn smells, first smile, tiny diapers, baby blessing, coos – giving birth is WONDERFUL!
You’ll do just fine. It’s like riding a bike…it all comes back to you. And don’t worry about nursing. I actually find it more convenient. Just keep some Lansinoh cream handy and give it at least two weeks before deciding whether or not to stop. Good luck.
I felt the same way. I worried about what woudl go wrong because I didn’t do everything I should (I stopped taking my vitamins at 4/5 months, drank Mt. Dew everyday), and I was so happy that everything turned out ok. So I wasn’t able to nurse and it’s turned out to be a good thing, expensive, but good. Like Brianne said, just think of that soft baby hair & skin, cuddling, newborn smells, first smile, tiny diapers, baby blessing, coos, and everything will be just great.
Girl, you will do wonderfully! I’m so glad I can comment now. I love reading your blog and you are such a good mom to London! I was so scared with #2, but your instincts will definitely kick in again to help you out. And the oldest one ends up being a little helper that comes in especially handy when the wipes are on the other side of the house.
Take care–I know that awful worried feeling, but have faith. I’m sure thing will work out fine!